Lavender Crush Blog - The Inner Struggle: Wanderlust vs. Reality
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The Inner Struggle: Wanderlust vs. Reality

Posted by Bridgette Tritz on

I relocated to the San Francisco Bay Area from Los Angeles last month, and this question has been on my mind quite a bit lately:

How do you make new friends as an adult?

Ever since the move, it's as if my surroundings perpetuate this curious question. Every time I talk with somebody, listen to a podcast, overhear a conversation, or open Facebook, I wonder HOW even more.

As a young kid, friendships were easy. I lived on a block with 5 or 6 other girls my age and since they were the only ones around to "play house" with, we inevitably became friends. It wasn't something we thought about, it just was. Throughout high school, I made friends through art classes, and in college, well, I lived with friends and had classes and parties with others my age. 

As an adult, I've moved quite a few times, and I've always viewed it as an adventure. From the Midwest to the East Coast, from Europe to Texas, and from Los Angeles to now Redwood City, CA, the wanderlust spirit in me has always found excitement in having a new city to explore, new home to decorate, and new foods to try. But the introvert in me has always found it daunting to know that I'll have to figure out a way to form new friendships.

There are no classmates to fall back on anymore. And while working from home is great, it means no co-workers. Unless you count my two cats..

Last month, I went to Craftcation, a conference in Ventura, CA, specifically for makers and creative business owners. This was my second year attending the show, and I. LOVE. IT. Seriously. I felt so inspired by all the creative energy and friendly people, and could not wait to bring that energy back into my studio. That feeling is great and amazing and powerful, but it can be a tricky one to hang onto after a few weeks alone in my studio.

So, rather than crawling into a cave and feeling sorry for myself, here are the steps I'm taking to hang on to that inspired feeling, and to get the ball rolling on meeting new people:

1. Signing up for a membership at the yoga studio down the block from my house. I'm challenging my introvert self to talk with other yogis before and after class (since it's not considered great etiquette to strike up a conversation while in downward dog).

2. Signing up for a workshop class to fine tune my casting and metalsmithing skills. Bonus: this means I'll be adding rings to my shop. YAY, stay tuned!

3. Making a more concerted effort to stay in touch with my real life, long-distance friends, and to also be more active in my online social circles.

4. I'm also a driver for Uber and Lyft. I've found this is a great way not only to learn my way around a new city, but to network with others and start conversations to feel less isolated. BONUS: First time riders get $50 FREE Lyft ride credit!

As I've talked with others about this, I've found that many of them have the same issues. So I'm curious to hear how you've met your adult-life friends, or how you go about trying. Have you moved to a new city and had to start fresh on the friend frontier? Tell me all about it in the comments below. And if you're in the Bay Area, let me know!

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  • Now that I’m back in CO, I’m in the same boat! Good luck, honey. I miss you! (See #3 above)

    Bonnie Berry on
  • Hey Bridgitte, go see Allison. She has tons of friends now in San Francisco and runs the sculpture department at California College for the Arts. You will meet lots of like minded artsy people in a very small space. Just an idea. Plus you will get to see her baby boy !
    The site looks great, Good luck !

    Gareth Williams on

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